You Had Me At Potato

Dear Google:

I am a big fan.... I already use a lot of your products.... I love your e-mail and I can't wait to get a cell phone with your Android operating system.... And your Google Earth program is crazy awesome....

But now, it's like you're looking straight into my soul.... How did you know that all it would take for me switch to your Google Chrome web browser, is a commercial displaying the speed of your Google Chrome compared to a potato, sound waves and lightning? The ball is now in Firefox's court, and they must attempt to win back my love....

Sincerely,

ASBLACKASOBAMA

p.s. You had me at potato.

Masked Man Tries To Elude Speeding Tickets

David VonTesmar, from Phoenix, Arizona, recently received 37 speeding citations (for a total of approximately $6,700) from Arizona's Department of Health and Safety. VonTesmar, a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines is accused of being caught speeding through photo radar zones, however, he's not making it very easy for authorities to prove it was actually him driving the car.

All of the photos taken of VonTesmar's speeding car by the photo radar system show a driver wearing a monkey, gazelle or giraffe mask. As a flight attendant, VonTesmar travels often and has said that family members and other co-workers have permission to drive his car when he's not in town.

"I haven't seen proof it was me, I don't know it was me. I have no reason to believe it was me, because I would never operate my vehicle in an unsafe manner. Have I worn the mask? Yes. I'm not admitting anything. I'm just saying the masks are in the car. I drive the car, but so do other people. I believe in peaceful, civil disobedience. I am not endangering anyone in the state of Arizona. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't endanger myself. Nobody likes me more than I do."

On his Facebook page, VonTesmar wrote:

"As the subject of this article, I would like to tell everyone that there is no proof that I am the driver in all of these photos. Several people that have access to my vehicle and have already called in to the Arizona Republic to state that they also drive this vehicle. I am a safe driver with an outstanding driving record. All those that think I am a blatant reckless and dangerous driver are making an uninformed statement using incomplete facts. I will put my driving history against anyone. I operate my vehicle in a safe fashion and drive with the flow of traffic. There has been no admission of guilt on my part nor have I been convicted of these charges or allegations. I appreciate that this is the United States of America and everyone is entitled to their opinion and can freely state it, however, before you condemn me, please get all the facts and make an informed statement."

I'm sure the State of Arizona is going to spend many tax dollars to try to prosecute this guy. Wouldn't it be easier to put a police officer at the areas where they typically find the person in the masks speeding to try to catch them in the act? Reports say that they have had investigators outside his house who have seen him put on the masks.... That must mean he's guilty (note: sarcasm). Let's hope this doesn't start a wave of copycat speeders.... This could become and epidemic! First bank robbers, now speeders? What's next?

Aquaman

Another amazing tool created by man! The Lunocet is an invention created by engineer Ted Ciamillo. It's a 2.5-pound monofin made of carbon fiber and fiberglass that attaches to an aluminum foot plate at a precise 30-degree angle. The key to the 42-inch-wide fin's speed: its shape and angle, both of which are modeled with scientific precision on a dolphin's tail.

Lunocet users have already hit about eight miles per hour, nearly twice as fast as Olympic Gold Medal swimmer Michael Phelps at his speediest. TWICE AS FAST!!! Using the Lunocet, some swimmers are close to being able to breach completely out of the water, like whales! The Lunocet can be purchased for only $1,500.00! I don't know why that seems cheap to me....

Now I need to learn how to communicate with marine life, and I'll be prepared when Black Manta tries to rise again!